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Got Jokes???

Horses in the race are:
1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Thighs
8. Big Johnson
9. Heavy Bosum
10. Merry Cherry

At the Post: They're off!

Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosum is being pressured. Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.

At the Halfway Mark it's Bare Belly on top. Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in. Heavy Bosum is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson. At The Stretch Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is making a final drive. Passionate Lady is coming.

At The Finish It's Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer. It looks like a dead heat but Big Johnson squirts through and wins by a head.

Heavy Bosum weakens and Thighs pulls-up. Clean Sheets never had a chance.

Mo' Jokes!!!

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.

After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

LondonPass.com

Still Mo' Jokes!!!

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

For snail mail write us at:

Dwight Day
The House of YAD
P.O. Box 1201
Teaneck, NJ 07666
USA

*****************

Daily Survival Kit

1) TOOTHPICK - to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others. - Matt. 7:1
2) RUBBER BAND - to remind you to be flexible, things might not always go the way you want, but it will work out. - Rom 8:28
3) BAND AID - to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone else's. - Col. 3:12-14
4) PENCIL - to remind you to list your blessings everyday. - Eph.1:3
5) ERASER - To remind you that everyone makes mistakes, and it's OK. - Gen.50:15-21
6) CHEWING GUM - to remind you to stick with it, and you can accomplish anything. - Phil 4:13
7) MINT - to remind you that you are worth a mint. - John 3:16-17
8) CANDY KISS - to remind you that everyone needs a kiss or a hug everyday. - 1 John 4:7
9) TEA BAG - to remind you to relax daily and go over that list of blessings. - 1 Thess. 5:18

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I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

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"Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible."

"If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump."

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LOOKING FOR WRITERS
If you have an article on any subject and would like to share it with fellow YAD readers please e-mail us.

The Political Insanity Continues!

Dwight Day Ok, yes I took the Bar exams (NY and NJ) and all that studying and law school are about to pay off. Or will it? We'll know soon enough. The results will be published in mid November.

So much continues to happen in this world of ours. The politicians are fake and a wide cross section of the electorate seemingly cannot think and is easily misled. While people here are struggling and are unemployed, we could afford to pay $30 million to the owner of the property of the house where Saddam's two sons were staying for his tip to the American military. Isn't this a rather hefty price? Why not $1 million or $5 million? I hope he gets to spend it.

I won't even bother to mention the reported cost of the war! And again, who gives us the right to be hunting down people? With no WMD found to date, and the realization that there was never an imminent threat, what justifies the death of Saddam Hussein? Can someone e-mail me and tell me.

Well I am no prophet, but keep listening because I predict that WMDs will miraculously be found before the next Presidential elections. All this time the WMDs have been staring us in the face but we just never saw them. They were so well-camouflaged!

There is so much to comment on, but I am gonna love you and hug you and say until next time. For rants and rave and great laughs join the forum Mango Tree University or start your own forum.

Comme ci, comme ca

Bogus visas and fake green cards in ‘Single Entry’

Single Entry is a hilarious Jamaican comedy set in present time. It looks at the creative efforts of two adventurous Jamaican women, to acquire US visas and the underground experiences they face as illegal aliens in America.
CONTINUE

-------------

The Turkish-Greek Relation

Unal K.
YAD reader writing from vacation in Turkey
It's amazing how there still exists "hatred and anger" amongst some Turks and Greeks over issues that many of us never experienced first hand.

The people of today are not the people of yesterday, despite the fact that we carry on our ancestry. It is true that Greece is not the nation it once was, and it is always hard to accept the fact that Turkey is geographically larger than Greece, a nation that once called Turkey its homeland. But these issues are behind us and can never be re-done.

The world today is no longer the world of empires and vast dictatorships. Many nations you see on the map today will more than likely remain as the same nation for millenniums to come (and international affairs (laws) play a huge role in this).

The point I am trying to make is, hatred will not get Greece and Turkey very far. People would be astonished at what a superpower Greece and Turkey could become if they cooperated economically, politically, and militarily. Perhaps Turkey's entry into the E.U. could help aid such stronger ties, but as long as hatred exists in at least 30-50% of the general population, ties between the two nations will never strengthen to the point where it becomes advantageous for both peoples. Think about it!

In Da Kitchen w/D

Well this a quicker whipper bachelor's breakfast. It's Sunday morning, you are exhausted and not quite in the mood. Well get your simple ingredients out. A sweet pepper, a regular hot pepper, blk pepper, salt, two or three eggs (depending if you have company), an onion, a tomato and a lil bit of oil. One of the best tasting scrambled eggs you will have in a while. Serve with ginger tea or juice. Join me in da kitchen for more details.
Words From Stephen

Book Review
"Honky" by Dalton Conley
ISBN 0-375-72775-2

By Stephen Earley Jordan, II

Stephen Jordan A historically accurate image of old-school, segregated New York, Dalton Conley's autobiographical "Honky" reflects on his youth, and his artsy odd-job parents, as the only whites in the Lower East Side housing projects before its gentrification-where he's considered the neighborhood "honky".

Extremely elementary, Conley's first-person narrative sadly belittles the readers' intellect by means of its oversimplification and continuous reiteration of the obvious piece of information that he cannot assimilate, thus all the time reserving only enough space in his life for one friend (of color) at a time.

Conley barely touches the surface of race, class and gender relations, despite the fact that "Honky" dives deep into Conley's boyhood dull-wittedness, as he turns to thievery. And, when he's caught, he doesn't learn the value of a dollar, but the value of withholding information to save your own tail-feathers. Ironically, Conley doesn't learn the value of life either, subsequent to his best friend being shot, as he boasts to acquaintances (apparently to gain their favor) regarding the occurrence of which he truly had second-hand knowledge. And, sadly he confesses to the reader that his obsessive-compulsiveness was the cause of a house fire, but never took the full blame.

Soon though, Conley overhears a supposed friend refer to him as "socially awkward"-only then we realize the conflicts are only internal and are not due to the fact that he's white, but because he is indeed socially awkward (as noticed when his parents and younger sister effectively communicate with people of other races).

Just like The Jefferson's tv sitcom, but white-this middle-class Conley family eventually moves to a new location (were they ever really low-income?), Roosevelt Island, still in New York, where his life seems to change for the better. As if speaking to a new audience, book's tone changes into his sociology-professor voice in the last chapter or so, loosely summing up the book with theories on cultural capital. This well-arranged book, with its short-story-like chapters, doesn't reflect Conley's true writing ability. For a more intense, thought-provoking read, be sure to read his essays in other publications. -Past Words from Stephen-

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YAD CHAT Join YAD chat daily 24/7. Plan with your friends to join you there too. Talk with Dwight at 7 p.m. daily. Click here.

Click for New York City, New York Forecast

Risking Discrimination

by Steven Greenhouse
The New York Times
CHICAGO — July 15, 2003

A funny thing happens when Elizabeth Nill, a sophomore at Northwestern University, goes shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch.
More from the New York Times

At no fewer than three Abercrombie stores, she says, managers have approached her and offered her a job as a clerk.

"Every time this happens, my little sister says, 'Not again,' " said Ms. Nill, who is 5-foot-6 and has long blond hair. She looks striking. She looks hip. She looks, in fact, as if she belongs in an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog.

Is this a coincidence? A fluke? No, says Antonio Serrano, a former assistant Abercrombie store manager in Scranton, Pa. It's policy.

"If someone came in with a pretty face, we were told to approach them and ask them if they wanted a job," Mr. Serrano said. "They thought if we had the best-looking college kids working in our store, everyone will want to shop there."

Abercrombie's aggressive approach to building a pretty and handsome sales force, an effort that company officials proudly acknowledge, is a leading example of what many industry experts and sociologists describe as a steadily growing trend in American retailing. From Abercrombie to the cosmetics giant L'Oreal, from the sleek W hotel chain to the Gap, businesses are openly seeking workers who are sexy, sleek or simply good-looking.

Hiring for looks is old news in some industries, as cocktail waitresses, strippers and previous generations of flight attendants know all too well. But many companies have taken that approach to sophisticated new heights in recent years, hiring workers to project an image.

In doing so, some of those companies have been skirting the edges of antidiscrimination laws and provoking a wave of private and government lawsuits. Hiring attractive people is not necessarily illegal, but discriminating on the basis of age, sex or ethnicity is. That is where things can get confusing and contentious.

"If you're hiring by looks, then you can run into problems of race discrimination, national origin discrimination, gender discrimination, age discrimination and even disability discrimination," said Olophius Perry, director of the Los Angeles office of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, which has accused several companies of practicing race and age discrimination by favoring good-looking young white people in their hiring.

Some chains, most notably the Gap and Benetton, pride themselves on hiring attractive people from many backgrounds and races. Abercrombie's "classic American" look, pervasive in its stores and catalogs and on its Web site, is blond, blue-eyed and preppy. Abercrombie finds such workers and models by concentrating its hiring on certain colleges, fraternities and sororities.

The company says it does not discriminate. But in a lawsuit filed last month in Federal District Court in San Francisco, some Hispanic, Asian and black job applicants maintained otherwise. Several plaintiffs said in interviews that when they applied for jobs, store managers steered them to the stockroom, not to the sales floor. CONTINUE

Copyright 2003 The New York Times Company.
******************************************************************** International News National News New York Regional News Political News Business News Technology News Sports News The New York Times

Weapons of Mass Destruction- Where Are They?

(part of an online convo between two graduate students)

Bluestar [11:19 AM]: Here's the question: If we assume that WMD's in Iraq don't exist cause we haven't found them can we assume that Saddam and OBL don't exist also? A thought more than a question answer if you like.

Redmoon [11:21 AM]: Well We KNOW for a fact that Saddam and OBL exist because we have proof. We have seen them. People have met with them. On the other hand WMD may have existed, they may have ben dewstroyed, we just have no proof. The sad poart is that if they do exist and we can't find them then now we might be in a far worse situation than before.

Bluestar [11:23 AM]: Good answer but not THE answer. If a picture is proof, like those we have of OBL and Saddam, then Powell's pictures are proof enough.

Redmoon [11:23 AM]: No those were not proof

Bluestar [11:23 AM]: neither are the pictures of OBL and Saddam

---Read the entire convo---

"The ends you serve that are selfish will take you no further than yourself; but the ends you serve that are for all, in common, will take you even into eternity" - Marcus Mosiah Garvey

**************************************

Listen or Wait

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids running out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and reversed back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown. He jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid who threw the brick and pushed him against a parked car shouting. "What was that all about? Just what the heck are you doing?"

Building a head of steam he went on. "That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money!!"

"Please, mister, please. I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do!!" pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and May God bless you," the grateful child said to him. The man then watched the little boy push his brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long walk back to his Jaguar ... a long, slow walk. He never did repair the side door. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention.

God whispers in your soul and speaks to your heart. Sometimes when you don't have time to listen, He has to throw a "brick" at you. It's your choice: Listen to the whisper, or wait for the brick...

~ Author Unknown ~







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